Spring Break
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Well looks like i'm the first to post in these section. I feel a need to vent right now. This spring break is going to SUCK. My plans for surgery fell through- the hospital is "booked the entire week." So I'm gonna have to do it the hard way- through the local ER. And I'm not sure if they do reconstructive surgery when they're done if I do it that way. I'm going to spending the week alone in my house. No mama, no dog, no cat, noone. I thought I was lonely back in the day…. HA!
If I only I could talk to my mama one more time...
Edit: Figured I should explain that. My mama died in November for those of you who don't know. So yeah, life's been tough. Everyone here is just waiting for me to do something weird so they can jump up and call me insane and have me locked up or something.
I'm a little surprised I haven't done myself in. Maybe I'm stronger than I thought. Problem is, I'm having a rough time with my classes, and the old uncle who's supporting me right now says if I make anything below a C, I'm out of college and no longer have his support (IE: house bills, emergency funds, etc.) I think that's unfair of him, considering what just happened last semester. He can't expect me to be all 100% in my mind yet. What do you guys think? Am I just being spoiled or something? sighs Damn, I miss my mom.
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Dare I ask what the surgery is for?
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I have a polyneidal (sp?) cyst on my rear end that's in very bad shape and needs to be removed. I won't give any details, but I swear from the hell it's given me, I've been extremely tired lately, light-headed, sore, and I have trouble sitting down. I've been trying to get it taken care of since last summer, and it seems like everything happens to keep the treatment from happening. And as time goes by, it gets worse and worse. I thought i had it bad back in the days when my biggest problems were being single and being picked on. What I wouldn't do for those simple days again.
Just… pray for me guys okay? God or not, I'd appreciate it.... I've never had surgery before, except for having two stitches in my wrist once... I'm quite afraid. Hell, I'm scared I won't even GET the surgery.
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Well once you get the surgery so long as it's not major (which it doesn't sound life threatening) you should be okay. As for being scared about it I'm sure they would put you under before anything goes down so you'll wake up and never knew it happened. Good luck on it though, it sounds like it's giving you a shitload of problems.
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huggle Awwww! I'm sorry!
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Yeah…. that's for sure. I'll never give up though. I won't let something like a butt problem take me down. In the game I might get killed all the time, but in real life, I will not be beaten.
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Having had let's see 5 surgerys and around 7 minor ones. It's not a big deal and you don't have to worry about it much. For me it's the going out and the dry throat I hate upchucking when I wake up. Only 3 of those they put me totally out for them. I was wide awake for both c-sections and really wish I had been out.
I can understand your worries. You'll be fine.
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You know…. I think I'd give my life to bring my mom back...
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<quote author="Elmah">
@Elmah:You know…. I think I'd give my life to bring my mom back...</quote>
So would I sweets! Include my grandparents and several friends who all died too early in life. I miss them all. Vesta and John the most. The first was murdered before she really lived and John took his life. I would trade years to just have them back.
I'm sure she knows you need her and she's with you. People never really go away when you remember them.
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Oh, another few crappy details about Spring break heh. I don't have cable, phone, or internet at home. They aren't too major but they do suck :P At least I'll have plenty of time to clean, and maybe practice cooking.
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Reading books is good. I have tons of them.
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will pray for ya
hugs n squishes and lots of luv
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No cable.. no phone.. no internet (and therefore no sentience.. yipes), have to stay inside the house due to possible surgery.. not much in the way of calling for company (but I assume you probably have asked a few friends now.. before you can't).. wow. I hope you have a lot of single-player games. (playing Halo 50 times over..mmm…)
I'm really sorry for you, man. I don't know how I would react if one of my parents died. You'll make it through this though, man.
"I'm a little surprised I haven't done myself in." Never talk like that. Ever. Suicide won't help anything. Seriously.
Just concentrate on your classes.. maybe study some over break (ugh) if you need it (I know I might for physics and calc). Unfortunately I can't tell you that I know how you feel (Jebus, I thought I was unfortunate), but I can tell you that it'll get better.
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Figured I'd post on this to give anyone interested an update. Well the ER refused to do my surgery. Said it wasn't an emergency. I think there's a free clinic here in town though that I can set myself up with. I'm checking into it.
Spring Break was boring. And Dari, single player games were what got me through it. I did some cleaning here and there, and in the process discovered that my house now has mice. I caught one, and decided to be kind and let it go outside. Well, I guess it decided to thank me by pooping on my kitchen table that night. (Yeah I realize that was probably a diff. mouse)
I think I'm gonna make it through school now…. I've been having this new feeling lately.... of strength I think. Perhaps determination too. But if I pass everything this semester... I think I've got a good next year ahead of me here.
The big bad thing right now is that the estate is being sued for thousands in medical bills. I am SO unready to deal with lawsuits... I'm hoping my lawyer and uncle will deal with most of it.
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What the- why are you being sued for medical bills? Damn man.. shit just keeps hitting you. Arg, that sucks that the ER won't do that.. though I can understand their judgement (granted, I don't know exactly what the cyst is or could do to you). Good luck with getting the local clinic to help you out.. maybe you could try to plead your story to them.
That's awesome that you're feeling revived now.. more confident and all that. You'll make it through this, man. Shit happens, and you're getting a lot of it, but you've made it this far.. there's no stopping now.
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